


Aesthete

by merlypops



Series: Beautiful Words - 5SOS Stories [18]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Cake, Cuddling, Cute Kids, Depression, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Shyness, lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-24
Updated: 2014-09-24
Packaged: 2018-02-18 15:59:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2354219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlypops/pseuds/merlypops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Calum Hood remembers how meeting Luke Hemmings was a bit like the moon coming out. He remembers how it felt like everything was dark before Luke, but how, <i>afterwards</i>, it was bright enough for Calum to see the stars.'</p><p>
  <b>Luke is cold and sad but Calum thinks he looks like a painting.</b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aesthete

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PrettyBrownEyes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyBrownEyes/gifts).



> Written for a prompt by PrettyBrownEyes:  
> “ _I have a word for you: aesthere. it means an appreciation of art or beauty. Cake with angst and fluff and cuddles, please._ ”  
> Not sure how well I did with the fluff or the cuddles but hopefully this is okay?  
> This fic was definitely inspired by You Me At Six's 'Cold Nights' and 5SOS' 'Disconnected'.  
> Enjoy!

**aesthete**

_a person who is appreciative of and sensitive to art and beauty_

 

Calum Hood remembers how Luke Hemmings was like the moon.

He remembers how it felt like everything was a bit _dark_ before he met him.

Calum remembers how playing games with his sister Mali-Koa as a kid was _fun_ but how it still felt like something was missing. Calum remembers how his mum took him to play in the park and the way it was admittedly _nice_ , but how it still wasn’t quite right. Calum remembers how his dad used to read him bedtime stories about characters with best friends when he was little, and how that felt _closer_ but there was still something lacking there.

Calum remembers when he discovered that the _thing_ he was missing was a best friend.

Calum remembers how there were two boys in his reception class that would _sometimes_ let him play with them but how they were already best friends with each other. Calum remembers being a tiny bit _jealous_ of Michael Clifford and Ashton Irwin because they _tried_ to include him in their games sometimes but they shared custard creams with each other and _not_ Calum because he wasn’t their best friend.

Calum remembers not really _blaming_ them because that was probably in the rules or something, but he also remembers wishing that _he_ could find someone to be best friends with because then maybe they would like to share the almond biscuits his mum gave him a little tub of everyday. (Calum remembers how he almost always took them back home with him, his expression downcast, and he remembers how sad it made his mum that Calum _still_ hadn't made a real friend yet.)

Calum remembers how no one wanted to share his biscuits with him for the longest time, until Calum met Luke in year one.

He remembers how the blond boy was a little bit how Calum _imagined_ the moon might be – all quiet and sad and not talking all that much. Calum remembers how Luke always drifted around the playground alone with his head bowed, his bright blue eyes pressed tightly shut more often than not, making sure that he was never touching anyone else or even _talking_ to them because he was so shy and frightened.

Calum remembers how Luke made him nervous, but he _also_ remembers how he talked to Luke anyway, and how it was the best thing he ever did.

He remembers how he saw the blond boy wandering around alone on the playing field during lunch and he remembers how he said Luke’s name softly as he approached so that he didn’t startle him.

Calum remembers how Luke looked up sharply and gave him a frightened look as he wrapped his arms tightly around himself, like he was cold or something, and Calum remembers how he sat down slowly on the floor and patted the spot next to him, and he remembers how Luke knelt down hesitantly a few feet away and watched him cautiously.

Calum remembers asking: “You got a best friend yet, Lukey?” and the sharp headshake Luke gave him at that, his eyes wider than ever, like even the _idea_ of it sounded mildly terrifying (or maybe he was just surprised that Calum had called him ‘ _Lukey_ ’. The older boy had never thought to ask.)

Calum remembers sitting there quietly for a few moments, content to just _look_ at Luke, before he shrugged and rummaged around in his backpack for the tub of biscuits his mum had given him.

“You want an almond biscuit, Lukey?” Calum had asked and he remembers how Luke nodded timidly and reached out, snatching it quickly like he thought Calum was going to _steal_ it or something, and mumbling out a soft: “ _T-thank y-you_ ” before he started to eat it timidly, making a small, surprised ‘ _mmm_ ’ sound that probably would have made Calum’s mum very pleased as Luke clutched the biscuit tightly.

(Calum remembers wondering _why_ Luke was behaving like that and later discovering that it was because his brothers liked to steal anything he showed the smallest amount of interest in.)

“You like the biscuit?” Calum remembers asking timidly. He remembers munching on his own companionably as the blond boy gave his careful, precise nibbles, and Calum remembers how Luke hesitated for a moment before he said: “ _Y-yes_.”

Calum remembers how he smiled encouragingly and how Luke’s lips quirked faintly in answer.

“You wanna be best friends, Lukey?” Calum remembers asking and he remembers how Luke went silent for a _whole_ lot longer this time before, guardedly, he shuffled forwards the last few feet and sat so close that their knees were almost touching.

“ _I t-think I'd l-like t-tha_ t,” Calum remembers Luke replying and how that made him grin happily, and Calum remembers how the rest – as they say – was history.

*

Calum remembers how, slowly but surely, Luke began to open up to him.

Calum remembers how Luke's smiles slowly got wider and brighter with every passing day, remembers how they stopped being so much like the moon and started looking like the _stars_ instead.

He remembers how he and Luke started to share more things together because they really _were_ best friends by then, and he remembers how incredibly _happy_ that made him.

Calum remembers how his mum used to make him ham and hard-boiled egg sandwiches for lunch at primary school, and how he always used to swap one of them for one of Luke’s chicken mayo rolls. He remembers how Luke used to give more of those small, surprised ‘ _mmm_ ’ sounds and how it made Calum smile so big and wide that his face used to _ache_ with it sometimes, because seeing Luke so relaxed and _happy_ about something so inconsequential made Calum's day.

He remembers how they used to share the almond biscuits his mum made him at break times - just like he'd always dreamed of - and how they used to stop for ice cream on the way home from school. Calum remembers how he usually had caramel and how Luke _always_ got cookie dough because it " _was the only flavour worth eating_ ". (Calum remembers how he later discovered that this was because Luke's older brothers disliked the flavour and were thus unlikely to steal it, and Calum remembers how pleased he was when he recalled Luke letting him taste it a couple of times.)

Calum remembers how Luke went away on this holiday once for a fortnight to Perth when they were both ten and Calum remembers how much he _missed_ Luke during those two weeks. Calum remembers how he spent the whole time trailing around behind Michael and Ashton at school, moping badly, and he remembers how he discovered Fall Out Boy, All Time Low and Green Day during those long summer days. Calum remembers how he shared his newfound music with Luke when he came back home with a beautiful, brown leather friendship bracelet for Calum, decorated with tiny beads and shells that he'd bought from a stall on the beach.

Calum remembers how he _promised_ never to take it off.

(He remembers how he never did.)

*

Calum remembers how, over the years, Luke started to come out of his shell more.

He remembers how Luke used to laugh louder, grin wider, touch more freely, sing with more confidence. Calum remembers how, after a little while, he began to think that maybe he loved his best friend a bit more than was possibly considered ' _normal_ ', and Calum remembers being aware that this thought should probably _scare_ him but instead simply feeling relief because he had _finally_ identified the fluttery feeling he felt in his tummy whenever Luke looked at him.

Calum remembers how Luke used to stay over almost _every_ weekend and how, on one memorable occasion, their relationship changed irrevocably because he discovered that _Luke liked him back_.

Calum remembers how the heating wasn't working in his house and how it was unusually cold, even considering that it _was_ June at the time.

Calum remembers how the pair had been watching Lord of the Rings before they had lost interest in it and Calum remembers how they had left it paused on a weird, slightly comical picture of Boromir's face in the scene where he tried to take the ring from Frodo on the mountain.

Calum remembers how Luke's bare feet were cold against his own as he snuggled down on the same pillow as Calum, icier than the snow that could still be seen on the television screen. Calum remembers how Luke's breath was hot as they held each other close, shivering slightly beneath their mountain of blankets, and Calum remembers how ' _Cold Night_ ' by You Me At Six was playing on the tinny speakers in Calum's dark bedroom because Luke didn't like the silence and Calum just wanted him to be comfortable.

Calum remembers how the blue wallpaper was peeling as Luke's icy hand curled around his, and Calum remembers how Luke gave a contented sigh as the band began to sing the pair's current favourite song.

" _It was a cold night, we laid with each other just to stay warm. Up all hours, not for the last time. As it's a cold life, stay with each other one last time. We could always run away some other night._ "

Calum remembers how Luke was so close that Calum could see each individual eyelash, so close that gazing at him was made difficult because his dark eyes couldn't focus on Luke's own sapphire pair properly in the darkness. (Calum remembers how he gazed back at him anyway.)

Calum remembers how Luke was staring at him with these wide, sparkling blue eyes, more beautiful than the stars but just as bright. Calum remembers how his heart began to thump in his chest, so loudly that it felt like it was trying to escape, and he remembers how Luke leant closer and started to sing.

" _I knew the moment I met you, I could never lose you. I knew the moment I met you._ "

Calum remembers how Luke gave this little gasp as the chorus began and closed the gap, his soft lips searching for Calum's in the darkness and finding his cheek. Calum remembers the startled, breathless giggle that escaped him as he awkwardly turned his head and he remembers sighing softly when Luke's mouth found his.

" _Don't you let me go this time. Don't you let me go this time. Don't go baby, it's time for us you know._ "

Calum remembers how it was all cold noses and hot breath as Luke's long, thin fingers threaded through his dark hair, pulling him gently closer. Calum remembers how Luke gave this tiny, broken sob when Calum licked into his mouth hesitantly, and he remembers pulling back sharply, afraid that he'd _upset_ Luke or something, before the blond boy - his _best friend_ in the entire world - reclaimed his lips with a newfound intensity that made Calum positively _melt_ as his love for Luke boiled over like scalding tears on cold cheeks, or like hot breath on a snowy day.

" _Don't go honey, this way we'll never know. Don't go honey, this way we'll never know._ "

Calum remembers thinking that Luke was a lot like the full moon on a clear night, bright and shining, not blinding by any stretch of the imagination but so ethereal, so fucking _beautiful_ that the wonder of him - the _otherworldliness_ \- took Calum's breath away.

*

Calum remembers thinking that, these days, Luke was a lot like a new moon.

He remembers how Luke was all but gone from the world, silent and dark and afraid, a mere shadow that hinted at being something more.

Calum remembers how he still thought that Luke was beautiful, and he remembers how sad he found it that Luke didn’t see it.

Calum remembers how he tried to tell Luke this, remembers how he compared Luke to the 'Starry Night' painting and how Luke blushed and murmured: "I'm nothing like that. And besides, a lot of people used to hate that." Calum remembers looking Luke dead in the eyes (and how much the hollowness in them hurt to see) and saying: "But I _love_ Van Gogh's 'Starry Night'. _I_ think it's a masterpiece."

Calum remembers how, by the end of the sentence, he was no longer talking about the painting but about _Luke_ instead, and Calum remembers how Luke was still embarrassed when he darted forwards and silenced Calum with an empty kiss.

Calum remembers how it took his breath away, but not in a good way. He remembers how it felt quite a lot like a punch in the gut to see Luke so empty now, a mere _echo_ in a dark mountain range that was fading fast.

Calum remembers being _determined_ to help Luke out the other side, whatever the cost.

*

Calum remembers how that was a lot easier said than done.

He remembers how Luke confessed one night that he was tired of being compared to his brothers, that there was a lot of pressure on him to do well but how it didn't really matter if he _did_ do something good because they'd already done it before him. Calum remembers how Luke had cried a bit then and how Calum's only answer had been to wrap Luke in his arms and hold him close as he stretched up to kiss the underside of Luke's jaw softly in comfort, and Calum remembers how it didn't feel like enough somehow.

He remembers how Luke stopped coming round in the evenings so much. He remembers how, instead, Luke chose to stay up late into the night, hearing the radio without listening to it, seeing the television without watching it, letting Calum ring him every night on the phone without really comprehending what the other boy was saying.

Calum remembers how Luke spent most of his time alone in the darkness, crying and isolating himself from everyone who cared about him without knowing why.

Calum remembers how, on one rare occasion where the younger boy actually sought out his best friend's company, Luke had sobbed out that he felt like he was lost with no way back. Calum remembers promising that he was going to help Luke to come back home, and he remembers how that was the first night that Luke came to stay over again.

Calum remembers how he wrote a song for Luke shortly after that and called it ' _Disconnected_ '.

Calum remembers playing it to Luke one evening and feeling his heart positively _ache_ as Luke broke down in tears as the realisation of what his life had become hit home.

Calum remembers how Luke gasped out that he was sorry for leaving Calum alone for so long and Calum remembers how he had to choke down a sob as he whispered: "It's okay, L-Lukey. You're b-back now."

Calum remembers how he cuddled Luke close and pressed a gentle kiss to his sweet-smelling hair where it curled around his ears, and Calum remembers how Luke's arms wrapping tightly around his waist and holding him close felt like coming home.

Calum remembers how Luke _stayed_ back after that, and how the night didn't seem so dark without him anymore.

*

Calum Hood remembers how meeting Luke Hemmings was a bit like the moon coming out. He remembers how it felt like everything was dark before Luke, but how, _afterwards_ , it was bright enough for Calum to see the stars.

He remembers how Luke's love burnt ever-bright and kept the night at bay, and Calum remembers how Luke barely ever got lost in the dark from that point on, and how all Calum had to do was tell him he loved him and that was enough to guide him back home, like a light in the darkness, or a song.

Calum remembers how Luke wasn't so much like the _moon_  nowadays as he was like a _candle_ , alternating between burning with a bright light to flickering softly, barely there, but how the flame never _entirely_ flickered out.

Calum Hood remembers how Luke Hemmings shone brighter than all of the stars in the night-sky combined, even though he couldn't always see it, and Calum remembers how Luke's beauty took his breath away.

Calum remembers how he used to look up into the night sky but all he could see were Luke's eyes.

Calum remembers how he still felt like that, even now.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this was okay! I'm not like 100% happy with it but it's the best story I've got in me at the moment! (That sounded weird...)  
> Please leave kudos and comments if you liked it!  
> Thank you!


End file.
